If you’re about to start Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), fantastic! It is one of the most powerful (and oldest) forms of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) around.
Maybe you’re feeling hopeful, maybe a little skeptical, or maybe you’re wondering, “Wait, is this the one where I argue with myself until I feel better?”
Before your first session, let’s clear up some common myths about REBT so you can walk in feeling informed and ready to get the most out of it.
Myth #1: REBT is just about positive thinking
Reality: Nope. REBT isn’t about forcing yourself to “think happy thoughts” or pretending everything is fine when it’s not.
Instead, it helps you challenge rigid and unrealistic attitudes and inferences that make you miserable and replace them with more balanced, flexible ways of thinking.
You don’t have to turn bad things into good things, or convince yourself that everything is all fine and dandy. You just have to see life’s adversities for what they really are: regrettable setbacks.
Takeaway: You don’t have to sugarcoat reality, just stop adding unnecessary suffering on top of it.
Myth #2: REBT is all about logic and feelings don’t matter.
Reality: REBT is absolutely about feelings! But instead of letting emotions dictate everything, REBT helps you understand why you feel the way you do.
Your thoughts, attitudes, and interpretations create your emotions, and when you change those, your feelings naturally shift.
The goal therefore isn’t to suppress emotions: It’s to make sure they’re working for you instead of against you.
Takeaway: Your feelings are valid, but they don’t have to control you.
Myth #3: REBT will make me emotionally detached.
Reality: If anything, REBT helps you engage with life more deeply. When you stop catastrophizing or demanding perfection from yourself and others, you can actually enjoy experiences for what they are. It’s not about feeling less: It’s about feeling in a healthier, more constructive way.
Takeaway: You won’t become a robot. You’ll just stop letting every inconvenience ruin your day.
Myth #4: If I accept things as they are, I’ll never change.
Reality: It turns out that acceptance and change aren’t opposites. Instead, they go hand in hand. REBT teaches that accepting reality is the first step to improving it.
You can’t fix what you refuse to acknowledge. Accepting yourself, flaws and all, doesn’t mean you stop growing. On the contrary! But, what you will stop doing is to beat yourself up along the self-improvement roadway!
Takeaway: Acceptance makes personal growth easier, not harder.
Myth #5: REBT is just common sense.
Reality: Sure, some of what we do in REBT is common sense! Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean we naturally apply it.
We all know that stressing over things we can’t control is pointless, but that doesn’t stop us from doing it, does it?
REBT isn’t just about knowing better. It’s about learning how to actually put these principles into practice when harmful emotions take over.
Takeaway: REBT makes common sense actionable, which is what actually changes lives.
Final Thoughts
REBT isn’t about thinking unrealistically positive, ignoring emotions, or turning into an emotionless android. It’s about giving you the mental tools to handle life’s ups and downs with resilience, self-compassion, and a healthy dose of realism.
So, as you head into your first session, keep this in mind: You don’t have to be perfect, and neither does life. You just have to be willing to challenge the beliefs that hold you back. That’s where the real change begins.
If this makes sense to you, why not set up an appointment?
Thanks for reading.