Sometimes we can make a bad situation or challenge worse by convincing ourselves that the adversity is awful or terrible. That sort of rigid attitude leads to further misery, pain and a lack of goal-focused behaviour. In this article, I discuss how to identify awfulizing in your life and what to do about it.
We’ve all been there: something goes wrong—a bad day at work, a tough conversation, or maybe even a spilled coffee—and suddenly, the sky is falling. You think, “This is terrible! It’s awful! How will I ever recover from this?”
What you’re doing is called awfulizing: the habit of taking a challenging or unpleasant situation and blowing it up into the absolute worst thing imaginable.
It’s like adding a soundtrack of ominous violins to everyday frustrations.
But why do we awfulize? What are the consequences? And, most importantly, how can we stop turning molehills into mountains? Let’s dive in!
What Is Awfulizing?
Awfulizing happens when we interpret a setback as not just bad but unbearably bad. From an REBT perspective, it’s rooted in rigid, catastrophic attitudes (which can be changed).
Instead of acknowledging, “This situation is inconvenient or painful,” we convince ourselves that, “This is absolutely awful, and I can’t stand it!”
Albert Ellis, the founder of REBT, often said that awfulizing is like carrying a giant magnifying glass. You take a difficulty and zoom in until it fills your entire mental screen. Sure, the problem exists, but it’s probably not as apocalyptic as your inner narrator makes it out to be.
Causes of Awfulizing
Awfulizing is fueled by certain patterns of thinking and rigid, unhelpful attitudes, such as:
Rigid Attitudes
Attitudes like, “Life must go smoothly, or I won’t be able to handle it,” set us up for disappointment. When life inevitably doesn’t comply, we spiral into despair.
Low Frustration Tolerance
If you believe you can’t stand discomfort, then any challenge—even a minor one—feels catastrophic.
Overgeneralization
Awfulizing often involves taking one bad moment and letting it taint everything. A single mistake becomes proof that “Nothing ever goes right for me.”
Fear of the Unknown
When facing uncertainty, our minds tend to fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. Instead of thinking, “This might be tricky,” we jump straight to, “This will be a disaster and ruin everything!”
Consequences of Awfulizing
Awfulizing doesn’t just make us miserable in the moment—it has ripple effects:
Emotional Turmoil: Catastrophic thinking cranks up anxiety, anger, and sadness, making it harder to cope with even small challenges.
Paralysis: When we maintain an attitude that something is too awful to handle, we’re less likely to take constructive action.
Strained Relationships: Constantly expressing that “everything is awful” can wear down even the most supportive of friends and loved ones.
Perhaps the most damaging consequence of awfulizing is that it blinds us to opportunities for growth or resolution. When we’re stuck in “This is the end,” we miss out on creative solutions that could turn things around.
Remedies for Awfulizing
Thankfully, REBT offers practical tools to help us break the cycle of awfulizing. Here’s how to regain a sense of balance:
Distinguish Between Bad and Awful
Awfulizing thrives on exaggeration. But in reality, very few things are truly awful. Ask yourself:
- Is this situation inconvenient, unpleasant, or genuinely catastrophic (i.e. is the world truly coming to an abrupt and miserable end)?
- Will this matter a week, a month, or a year from now?
- Could it have been worse?
For example, spilling coffee on your shirt is annoying, but it’s not awful. For instance, it would be worse to have no coffee at all, but that wouldn’t be awful either, just unfortunate.
Challenge the Logic
Awfulizing often rests on shaky logic that doesn’t test well against reality. Examine your attitude critically:
- “Is this situation really unbearable, or am I just uncomfortable?”
- “What evidence do I have that this is the worst thing ever?”
- “What would I tell a friend in my position?”
Usually, when you ask yourself such questions, you’ll find a more balanced, goal-directed approach waiting in the wings.
Develop Psychological Flexibility
Life is unpredictable, and rigid demands only make it harder to cope. Instead of thinking, “This must not happen,” try:
- “I don’t like this, but I can deal with it.”
- “This isn’t what I wanted, but I can adapt.”
Flexibility isn’t about pretending everything’s fine—it’s about learning to bend without breaking.
Practice Gratitude
Awfulizing focuses on what’s wrong. To counter this, consciously look for what’s still right.
Did you spill your coffee? Sure.
But you also have a spare shirt and access to laundry. Gratitude shifts your perspective and makes it more balanced.
Use Humor
Sometimes, the best remedy for awfulizing is to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Stuck in traffic? Imagine you’re in an episode of a reality show called Patience Bootcamp.
Humor doesn’t fix the problem, but it lightens the load, making it easier to carry.
Moving Beyond Awfulizing
Awfulizing may feel automatic, but it’s a habit, not a certainty.
With practice, you can replace such rigid attitudes with more goal-directed, balanced perspectives. And when you do, life’s challenges become less overwhelming and more manageable.
The next time you catch yourself saying to yourself, “This is the worst thing ever!” pause. Take a deep breath and ask yourself:
- “Is it really awful, or just inconvenient?”
- “Can I handle this, even if it’s hard?”
Chances are, you’ll find that life isn’t as unbearable as it seems. And even when it feels tough, you have the resilience to get through it.
Because here’s the truth: you’ve faced challenges before, and you’ll face them again. Awfulizing only makes the journey harder.
For more on this, give me a call or set up an appointment.
Thanks for reading.